Peace In A Tin Can

Peace In A Tin Can

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A Dusting of Snow Is Not A Weather Situation!

We have a weather prediction for 1-2" of snow tonight.  The kids will probably get a Snow Day tomorrow.

Really?  Yup.  Two years ago, my kids got a Snow Day in March when it was 40 F and raining.  But give us a half-inch of ice on the road, and school is not cancelled.  I like to refer to this phenomenon as "The IIC Effect".

IIC is an acronym for "Idiots In Charge".  I don't know who the nameless, faceless people are who make the decision to cancel school because of weather, but I do know they gather in a dark room in the wee hours of the morning and play a Russian Roulette game to make their determination.  A roll of the dice, a spin of the wheel, and a life-altering choice is made by Lady Luck whether to let the kiddies go to school that day.

That must be the case, because there is no rhyme or reason to the qualifying factors for a snow day.  I can say this, though, with certainty; a dusting of snow is not a weather situation.  Yet the IIC goes into a blind panic as soon as the white stuff starts to fall, and cancels school.

I know the arguments I'll get from other moms.  They say young drivers should not be on the road, they just want to keep their kids safe.  But if young drivers never drive on slippery roads, how will they learn to drive on slippery roads?  Ten years from now, will we live in a nation where everything shuts down all winter because nobody knows how to drive?

My biggest problem with this argument, though, is the fact that when school gets cancelled for a Snow Day, all those young drivers get in their cars and drive to my house.  It's my own fault.  I created a winter wonderland at my house, with snowmobiles and an ice rink and ample opportunities for the girls' "pretend-model"                      photo shoots.

Blizzard of '78
Google Images
We don't get as much snow now as we did when I was a kid.  I still vividly remember the Blizzard of '78, when the record-low barometric pressure of 955 created the perfect scenario for 16.1 inches of snow to fall in one day.  It continued snowing for 3 days.  My dad attached the snowplow to our Jeep and pushed all the snow in our parking lot into one corner, building a giant snow mound which towered over the garage roof and beckoned us to play.  My cousins and all the neighborhood kids came over, and using shovels we dug the most incredible maze of snow tunnels through the mound. Then we packed the snow down hard on top and designed an elaborate series of slides.  We played King of the Mountain, Eskimos, and Bobsledding. I stayed out all day.  When my mother finally made me come inside after dark, I limped up the stairs because I had not been able to feel my toes since noon.  I took my boots off, and as my toes began reacting to the warm air, I experienced pain like I had never felt before.  I literally wanted my mother to take a butcher knife and just cut my toes off.  It was the best day ever.

That was a snow day.  These days, when all the kids descend upon my peaceful home, they have to completely clear the front yard of it's 2" of snow just to build a snowman.  That's not a snow day.  Its an irritating day.

But today the weatherman will issue a Winter Weather Advisory for 1-2" of snow, and tonight the grocery store will have long lines of moms stocking up for the big snow day tomorrow.  Snacks, hot chocolate, and big steaming pots of chili will adorn kitchen tables everywhere while moms wear out the dryers trying to keep the kids' mittens and socks dry.  Adults will be texting each other to talk about how bad the roads are.  Kids will play outside all day and make a mess of the yard and drip dirty snow on the mudroom floor and post thousands of pictures on Instagram that all look the same:  "Here we are, not in school, playing in the snow even though the grass is still peeking through."

Be careful out there folks!
This dusting of snow we are supposed to get tonight is going to wreak havoc in my busy schedule.  But what do I know?  I bow down to the IIC who, in its wisdom, makes decisions based on fear of lawsuits and designed to foster a generation of people scared to leave their homes in the Winter.  The next generation of movers and shakers will be unable to cope with northern winters.  I hope Florida has room for all of them.